Never did I ever think that something like this, would happen In my life time!
Im sure these words eco, as we steadily ease out of these trying times.
The loss of loved ones, friends, cousins ,uncles, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, grandparents, husbands, wives, constantly appeared on my facebook timeline.
The tears that I cried, the shock as I read words that I can't imagine how hard it must of been to write. The lonely journey of grieving with no support, no-one to hold their hands, or cry with, nobody to fill the house with noise, to help mask the pain, the hurt, the sadness that over powers their core.
Many became ill and this silent killer damaged parts of the body, and the battle begins to heal the organs that were healthy prior to this virus arriving.
FUCK YOU Covid 19 !
I was scared! I became a prisoner in my home, driving away the people close to me.
Keep away I shouted as my daughter arrived, "its ok mum" "I'm not coming in". the words read on the prompt cards she had already taken her time to create. "I just want you to know", "I love and miss you" "we will get through this" the cards went on to say.
The tears filled my eyes as I glared at her through the window. To much for her, she turned and walked back to her car. As she drove away the reality hit me, and my mood began to sink and I struggled to take control.
My bed became my sanctuary, forcing myself to only care for those of whom I was responsible for within these four walls previously called home and now its a prison.
Still in my panic I'm cleaning and disinfecting every object that came in from the outside world. "Don't touch" I shouted, raising my voice as my son reached for a drink, that just arrived from the Tesco delivery man. "Its not been sterilised" I muttered as I took out my mist spray bottle, filled with a home made sterilising concoction.
My emotional roller coaster was in full control, until my faith kicked in. I suddenly remembered I had God !
Don't get me wrong, I didn't forget he was there, I called on him every day. "Oh lord whats happening?" "Oh god, please take over and heal the world", "God protect my friends my clients my family" I chanted.
On reflection, I didn't allow God to take control of me, to be responsible for me, to carry me, I didn't place myself in his arms. It was some weeks into this pandemic when I was able to accept that I have no control and I allowed my faith to take over, thats when I felt at peace and I was in the mode of acceptance.
Whilst I was in the light, leaving the darkness behind, God gave me a new vision, a look into the future. He guided me to start planning and reminded me of my dreams for Jus U Hair Boutique. Guided by this I began to work on the business, revisiting the business plan, leaning about the trends, completing a SWOT analysis, putting in systems and so much more.
This period has given me the time to reflect, I conclude by saying.
God is my strength, he grants me the opportunity to build and create the things that are important to me, my family, home, friends, clients, my business drives me and most of all, I am truly thankful for life !
Your Sisterlock Consultant
Fenella x
This is such a good reflectionof how most people have felt over the past few months! Thank you for sharing such inner feelings. A true reminder that once we gain strength, we gain wings. x
A very moving testimony of what we have all been going through during this COVID-19 Pandemic. Our world as we knew it has been changed! Still we keep our focus on God, hoping & praying for some form of normality in the not so distance future. God is faithful to our needs and he will see us through. Thing is we will all be stronger....